Archive for the ‘Fridgin Out’ Category

Fridgin’ Out: Gay People

April 4, 2008

Editor’s Note: This post was conceived and written by Yamahomo in response to Fridgin’ Out: Married People. It’s an exclusive sneak peak into the fridge of Gay People. Enjoy!

Yamahomo lives in West Chelsea, on Super Starchitect row (19th St). Cameron Diaz might buy one of the penthouses in my building. Lucky me. Although there was a shooting right outside the apartment last week, it is becoming a VERY hot neighborhood. We don’t have Central Park to walk the dog, or go for a jog, but we have the gallery district right on 10th Avenue, plus soon, there will be the High Line, the fake park that is perfect for fake people like us Gay People.

Gay People are usually highly style-oriented, and appearance counts the most as you can see from the 8th avenue (b/w 14th and 23rd Street) crowd. They might not have any brains, but they put themselves together very nicely.

Having said that, Gay People’s fridges usually doesn’t look like one. It’s all blended in as part of the kitchen. Or the kitchen doesn’t even look like a kitchen. In my case, the kitchen is part of living room. Even if Gay People don’t use their fridge other than to store water and booze, it must be a Sub Zero or Wolf, with custom panels on front to make the blending effect perfect.


Gay People might wear $400 cashmere sweaters, but with a $5 torn T-shirt from K-Mart underneath. This fridge looks like this. This was taken right after a party, hence not much real food inside and filled with left over liquid items. Unlike Married People in Upper West Side, Gay People in West Chelsea have great shopping places, such as Fruit Exchange, Buon Italia, and other various bakeries at the Chelsea Market, where I stop by on my way home from work. Stocking up doesn’t usually happen. Vegetables and meats are purchased and used on the same day.
Unlike other Gay People’s fridge, mine is filled with stuff. From Hoison sauce, low fat mayo, to various Asian ingredients reflecting Yamahomo’s heritage.
Gay People drink the best vodka. Belvedere is the best. Unlike non-cooking Gay People, I have cooking sake, vinegar and other homey items next to the gay vodka. This makes a huge difference in Gay People’s fridges.
Aside from vodka, Gay People never lack chilled wines in the fridge. After happy hour at one of the bars in the neighborhood, Gay People keep on partying, where people can enjoy chilled wine, fruity cocktails or martinis. Discard Skyy vodka on the left. Someone brought it to a party. Low class vodka… Gay People don’t drink beer since it’s too fatty, hence there aren’t any chilled beer glasses either.
Gay people often times use non-“made from scratch” items, such as this chicken tikka masala sauce (on the left). However, creative Yamahomo marinated chicken wings with the sauce, mixed with yogurt, and baked until done. Healthy chicken wings for Gay People. Side note: I cannot live without diet coke. I know it’s unhealthy, and un-gay-like, but I need it when I wake up in the morning. I like coffee too, but it takes too long to wait for coffee and diet coke is my wake up drink.
Yamahomo keeps some weird jars in the fridge. This is stem gingers in sugar syrup. Instead of crystal ginger, it gives a sweeter and more moist texture to cake bakings. This was given to me from a friend who is from London. She is moving back and I went to her apartment and collected items I wanted. She knows I am the only one who would appreciate weird food items, so she gave me Goji berries, disposable paper cups to bake muffins, half used olive oil among others. Yamahomo can be a frugal gay.

Gay People keep their eggs in Sub Zero branded egg container.

Gay People’s freezer is a bit messy. It’s the same concept as wearing an expensive coat out, but their inner self is a mess full of issues, from depression to psycosis. I know you spot Friday’s artichoke dip, and I have to admit I bought this drunk, and had a last minute get together and didn’t have enough time to prepare everything. I like drawer freezers. It’s so much easier to look for items, especially things that have been frozen for who knows how long.
Us puffs like puffy pastries. I always keep puff pastry, as well as filo dough in freezer. You can make easy appetizers that looks and taste like “wow”.

Gay people only drink expensive coffee, hence Kona is stored in the freezer. Like tea, someone told me it keeps fresh being stored in the freezer, and I follow it… Any scientific proof for this?
Gay people usually don’t eat dessert because it’s too fatty. We have to watch our figures to be able to fit into skin tight T-shirts and jeans. However, when we do eat dessert, we buy the good shit. This is pistachio gelato from Buon Italia. It is freakin $14 a container, yet, this is the best shit. They have various flavors, and my fav is this and green apple sorbet. Sorbet, since there is no milk in it, is only $8 something, and all are made in Italy. Gay people are suckers for “Made in Italy”.

Gay people MUST have plenty of ice cubes for martinis, mix drinks, and other fruity drinks. Automatic ice maker definitely makes our lives better.

Gay people usually throw out ripened bananas, but Yamahomo is domesticated enough to keep it for emergency banana nut bread baking when we get invited to a cocktail party at the last minute.

Gay Jap keeps inari sushi (tofu skin cooked in sweet soy sauce) skins for Asian-flavored parties.
Final note: Gay People’s fridges are just as normal as straight ones.

*What’s in your fridge? Send pics to umamimart@gmail.com. Check out all the Fridgin’ Out posts here. Come back every Friday to see all the scary shit we find in these dungeons of moldy condiments.

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Fridgin’ Out: The Work Fridge

March 28, 2008

This post is dedicated to MelRoach. We miss you!

The Work Fridge tends to be a little scary, no matter where you work. You may have the most respectable colleagues, toiling away in spotless, clutter-free work spaces, but when you look inside the Work Fridge, all hell breaks loose. If you work in an office, you know what I’m talking about.

Let’s take a look- continue reading at your own discretion. I hope this isn’t breaking any code of conduct labor laws. Photos taken by me, and Yamahomo’s iPhone. Yes, we work together. Yes, he’s just as outrageous in the work place.

FYI, there are about 70 people who work at our glorious non-profit cultural institution (read: we all MUST pack a lunch, because we cannot afford to go out).


They are actually pretty strict about the Friday by 5pm rule. Our guys will throw your shit out mercilessly if you don’t claim it.

Funny cartoon:
Freezer:
Lots of different types of tea. They say that the leaves stay fresher in the freezer. Has that been scientifically proven?

Frozen meals:
Ice cream:
Nuking fries is just plain wrong.
“I’ll have the alfalfa sprouts, and a plate of mashed yeast.”
– Alvie Singer, Annie Hall
Cold compress- inappropriate:
Fridge door:
I’m finding that the fridge door is the most fascinating place in the fridge. People really love their weirdo condiments!

The fridge:
So scared to look inside:
This is healthy and wallet-friendly: just buy ingredients for a salad and toss right before you eat it. Here we have romaine, feta, olives, and a tomato. SMART!
Yamahomo and I held our breath when opening this:
Yamahomo brought in this huge oversized container of homemade mango lassi. WHO IS THIS MAN???
Ronnybrook Farm Milk. The farm sells their dairy products out at the farmer’s market every Wednesday, and so there are lots of their products in the Work Fridge. They make the best milk chocolate ever.

Everyone is always dieting!!!
A compact lunch neatly packed in a ziploc bag.

One of those “designer” lunch bags. A bit over the top. I think it’s really great to pack a lunch for work, but am not into these “lunch purses” that I see ladies holding on the train.
Ok, this is my lunch. Kinda cute right? Japanese people wrap their lunch boxes in handkerchiefs. It’s really weird.
Back of the fridge- NO MAN’S LAND.

Some other scary products you know have been in here for god knows how long.
The veggie box- not bad.

Butter box- individual things of grape jelly. Jam companies need to stop making this shit. WHO likes grape jelly???

By far the nastiest thing we found in the fridge- fucking mayo that expired back in July 2006. I swear this was here when I started in 2005. NASTY!!!
The Work Fridge also creates heated feuds over email throughout the organization. Here’s an example:

Mary: “Dear all, I found my leftovers in the trash today. Please be respectful of your colleagues, and do not randomly throw out things in the communal refrigerator.”
John: “Well, did it have your name on it?”
Mary: “Yes it did. They were leftovers from yesterday and I was going to eat it today.”
Henry: “Mary, let this be a lesson, and just eat your entire lunch next time.”
Mary: “Henry, that is disrespectful. I am reporting you to HR.”

*What’s in your fridge? Email photos to umamimart@gmail.com

Fridgin’ Out: Married People

March 21, 2008

Newlyweds Beth and Darren just bought a really dope, spacious 2 bedroom in the Upper West Side, right off of Central Park West. That’s Park with a capital P. Married people like to live near Central Park so they can say things like, “We just went running in the Park” or “We just got back from walking dog’s name here in the Park”.

I live about an hour away from the Park, which conceivably says everything about me.

Beth’s fridge is heavily stocked with just about anything you want, all from Fairway (the only other reason to go to the Upper West Side). To save money, her and Darren have a pact to never go out for lunch or dinner except for special occasions. Good for them!!! I’ve made that pact with myself too. Um, yeah.

So what do married people have in their fridge? Let’s find out.

Married people get their groceries delivered from Fairway. Dreamy.

Freezer: many frozen pizzas and fruit. Married people keep bags and bags of frozen fruit around so they can make smoothies with the blender they got from the bridal registry. They spike it with rum when they want to live on the edge a little.

Married people freeze their glasses for beer.

Beth, not married people, freezes her bananas before they rot to oblivion. She does this so she can make her husband banana bread in the middle of the night.

Fridge: I told you it was crazy stocked.

A single Bud amongst the condiments in the fridge door. Love it.
C’mon guys, this is so 80s.

Married people make their own salad dressing, and keep them in cute jars.
Married people put their eggs where they are supposed to go.

Two huge grapefruit, a bottle of bubbly, and a can of whipped cream, all in one shot. There were a total of 3 bottles of champagne in their fridge. Married people like to have it around for when people “drop-in” unexpectedly.
Bags of flour tortillas for midnight snackysnacks. I used to live with Beth in college, and let me attest that she makes bombass quesadillas.
Cheesefest! Married people like to experiment with expensive cheeses I’ve never heard of before. But I love Beth cause she keeps it real and will never abandon Velveeta. EVER.

Something they got from her neighbors as a welcome gift. It’s an Indian sweet that comes in a tin can and sounds really good. Soft cheese balls! Let’s see how long it takes for them to open this. A year? 3 years? I bet Darren throws this out while Beth is not looking when they move out.

Organic tofu!

“Honey, what kind of sandwich do you want for lunch today? Roasted turkey or smoked turkey?”

Roasted bell peppers.
Married people eat their vegetables.

Their fridge was a bit bizarre- a piece of styrofoam divided it from the freezer.

Also, apparently the fridge gets so cold that food labels get stuck to the sides and won’t come off.

Married people will bake you cookies (two different kinds!), when you come over for dinner.

Married people sip wine from fine crystal glasses they got as wedding gifts. Why anyone would let me go near their crystal is beyond me.

Alright so we’ll stop there. Just a little glimpse for all you single folk of what married life is like. Or at least what’s in the fridge. Getting married has never been high on my list of things to do, but this actually doesn’t look so bad. Especially if I can get a high-powered blender out of it.

*What’s in your fridge? Email pics to umamimart@gmail.com

An aside from Beth:
“We actually already opened and had some of the Gulabjaman, they are cheese balls- how would you think I wouldn’t try them? :)”

MY BAD!!!

Fridgin’ Out: Marta in Madrid

March 14, 2008

Marta and I were lesbian lovers in a former life. We were probably the secret mistresses of Constantine during the glory years of Roma (he summoned for us from over the state line!), and hooked up after we had enough of him (we outed him. SCANDAL!). In this life, however, we have been downgraded to star-crossed lovers, as she is from Spain, and I from California. I do miss my Martita- she is like a sister to me. At least we fight like we are.

So what does my Marta have in her fridge this week? I am so stoked to show you. Marta is originally from Cadiz, in the south of Spain, currently living with her bf, Jose in Madrid. She works as some powerhouse career woman at a huge media publishing conglomerate. As you’ll see from her fully stocked fridge, she’s a badass.

Here it is, live from EspaƱa! She has titled this “Wednesday in my Kitchen”– she even captioned the photos herself!

My fridge:

Very important for social life CERVECITA:
The real king of spain…
Picture is bad but this meat is great:

Little Italy

Hangover breakfast

Vinito blanco:

The best yogourts ASTURIANA

Strawberry forever

Aceitunas, esparragos, bonito…

After dessert NESPRESSO

*What’s in your fridge? Email pics to umamimart@gmail.com

Fridgin’ Out: Yoskay, Tessar and Nate

March 7, 2008

Alright folks, this post is to debunk your romantic notions of the starving artist. My brother’s bff Yoskay is an awesome painter, living in a fat loft space in Japantown, LA, with fellow awesome artists Tessar and Nate. They all hustle hard so they can focus on their art as much as possible- good for them!

Anyway, here’s what was in their fridge- even though they’re on a tight budget, I am proud of them for taking care of themselves so well. My own fridge definitely isn’t as well stocked as this one.

Filtered water! AND they also have a Brita. No tap water for these boys, no no. Grapefruit juice too, you know, for your vitamins.

TOFU! Almost too healthy.

2 huge packs of eggs- for the late night 5 egg omelets.

Yoskay has a great creation for these 99cent packs of udon noodles- instead of making a soup, he pan fries it. Pretty ingenius.

Brie!

Not one, but two big packs of miso. I guess one is Yoskay’s and the other is Tessar’s. They’re asian, what can I say- gotta have your miso, apparently.

Chocolate dipped strawberries- WTF?? One of them (who shall remain nameless) had a lady friend over for Vday– ohh la la. I hope he got some.

If anything, I know they’re sleep deprived, not nutrition deprived. You boys gotta sleep!!

Yoskay’s unfinished sculpture, holdin’ down the fridge. Yoskay, I want that!

*What’s in your fridge? Send pics to umamimart@gmail.com

Fridgin’ Out

February 8, 2008

I know, this “what’s in your fridge” shit is so tired! But I’ve been wanting to blog about these specific food finds, so I’m just gonna bite it and start the “Fridgin’ Out” column. What a DORK.

Here’s this funky herb concentrate stuff that I got at a little Argentinian bakery in Jackson Heights called Terma Serrano. Mariana, whose family is from Argentina, urged me to get this– she says you add it to soda water. It reminds me of an alcohol-free version of digestives like Fernet Branca or Cynar, or coca cola. It’s an interesting, bitter, herby flavor.

Fridge Lifeline: at least a year.

I know I was all about Greek Gods yogurt a few weeks ago, but I was too broke, so got the Erivan stuff instead. Easier on the wallet at $2.50 for one of these bigger tubs. And it’s really runny, no thickeners, so it’s not so heavy. I love it! This is my second tub in two weeks.

Fridge Lifeline: one week.

I picked up these little packets of Otokomae “Johnny” tofu when I went to Mitsuwa a month ago. So creamy, milky and delicious- and love that picture of “Johnny” on the front. I haven’t eaten this one cause it’s too cold out for cold tofu (don’t waste this by cooking it!). I hear that they sell this at Sunrise market in Manhattan, so get on it!

Fridge Lifeline: Another month?