Artichokes at the Freemasons Lodge

Matt and I went to the Grand Lodge of Masons for Open House NY on Saturday. All in all, it was pretty creepy– on the corner of 23rd Street and 6th avenue, it’s an impressive 19-story frat house full of windowless meeting rooms (each with their own gaudy theme), lots of gold, and bizarre iconography. Here is one such example: these green artichoke things were at the ends of each stairwell, which were perplexing to say the least.

What was even weirder were the explanations. Upon asking three Masons what this symbolized on three different occasions, here were the answers:
Mason #1: “Nothing. They don’t stand for anything.”

Mason #2: “They aren’t artichokes. They are those flowers, what do you call them? I forgot. Here, go into this room, and ask me again when you come out.”

Mason #3: “Plenty.”
Kayoko: “What do you mean?”
Mason #3: “I mean plenty. They mean plenty.”

Wow. They need to get their answers aligned, pronto. Basically, I think that this is all a conspiracy and these free guided “tours” (which they offer daily) are all a farcical front operation for something totally harmless like taking over the world (and how would you know they haven’t already???). They will offer artichokes to us when that day comes, to which we will be forced to worship. Hail the mighty artichoke!

Here are some other shots of the architecture which Matt took. If you look really hard at the one below, you’ll find a gleaming “G” above the stained glass window, which they tell us stands for “Geometry”. I say he’s lying and it really stands for “Goonies”.


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